This time last year, I was dreading the next phase of my life. I was recovering from a stay in the E.R. and heavily pregnant, mourning the “lost” year(s) of my career. None of the books I planned to release came, and older ‘should’ve-finished-long-ago’ books were still languishing on my desktop. 

(Oh, and between you and me, I wasn’t really excited about the baby, and I was very ill-prepared. Bestie Nicole, as always, had to save me and a very frazzled Mr. G by setting up the nursery since we could never seem to get things together.)

In my mind, my author career was over. 

How could this be?

“2022 was supposed to be about being “Unapologetic” and handling my career on my own terms, releasing books how I wanted, working harder than ever but…I wasted it,” I said to myself. “I could’ve written from my bed, pushed through the exhaustion instead of making excuses. Why didn’t I bring my laptop to the hospital? I could’ve worked through all those tests instead of just laying there…”

I flipped through my baby shower pictures and wondered why I didn’t slip into a bathroom for five minutes here or there and write a scene. Or a promo plan. Or a fun Facebook post. 

And Omg…Why haven’t I figured out TikTok? I could’ve made more of an effort to try that…

Time waits for no one, of course, so after 2022 slipped away with my endless worries, Baby G came into the world in January and…

I returned to work in February. 

2023 will be the “unapologetic” year! I’ll write through all her feeding sessions. I’ll finish all the books and turn things around. I can do it!

Spoiler alert: I didn’t do it.

In fact, I released this book months after I said I would, and I almost threw 2023 into the trash with 2022, 2021, *and* 2020. <–We’ll discuss these one day soon because, OMG life has been kicking my ass for quite a while.

I was in the midst of struggling to promote my “delayed book,” when something crazy happened: Baby G. attempted to crawl. She wasn’t even six months, but there she was, struggling on her fluffy pink tummy time mat, trying to make it forward. To me.

My ads manager was open in one tab, with emails and “my plans” in another, and I finally did what I should’ve done months ago. Years ago, honestly. 

I shut my laptop and let “life” get in the way. 

I cheered her on, adjusted her position, and held her close for the rest of the day. 

And then I did something else I hadn’t done in quite a while: Be brutally honest with myself and ask some serious questions…

What did I really want out of my career? Out of life? Why am I getting so upset about “life” getting in the way when I’m in the driver’s seat? Is it possible that my goals are unrealistic? Is it possible that I just can’t do everything all at once? What if the goals are realistic, but the plans to reach them aren’t? Why do I feel like everything has to get done all at once instead of gradually over time?

After journaling about these things for a while, I realized that life wasn’t really “in the way” at all. 

I was. 

I wasn’t properly planning in advance. I was thinking that I could do a million things I’d never done before. I was also being unrealistic about the amount of time it truly takes to achieve certain goals. 

Now, in case you can relate to this and I’m not speaking to myself…

Honestly, there’s no way to plan for a deer running into your car and totaling it (happened UGH), someone you love becoming deathly ill and passing away (This happened too), or any of the other “Fuckkkkk my life” moments that the universe seems to toss in our paths when things are going a little too well. BUT, we can make some *manageable* systems and plans that may not help us achieve our goals overnight, but maybe they’ll get us there in 90 days. Or maybe 120. Or hey, maybe even nine months. 

If I knew what I knew this time last year, I would’ve said, “Baby G is coming! Let me make sure I’ve got everything ready and soak up these final weeks. As far as my career? Well, it’s not like I’m publishing anything between now and the time she arrives so…Let me just journal and commit to revisiting things after her first three months. Being ‘unapologetic’ means being unapologetically honest with myself as well…” 

If I’d done that, I wouldn’t have felt like I was losing my grasp on life and needing to rush back to writing before “readers forget about me.” I would’ve probably put out this book (which performed far better) first because it was actually fun, risky, and part of me truly being “unapologetic.”

All of that said…

What do you really want?

Until the next cup of tea, 

Whitney G. 

P.S. I’ve been meaning to launch the new site for a while, but the timeline was completely unrealistic. So, I’m starting with a newsletter, which you can sign up for here . If you want one of the unapologetic journals for making 2024 all it can be (realistically), they’re spiral bound, lined for journaling, and they start shipping in January 2024. <3